This is my coming out party!
It's been a very long and very short five days. I know that makes no sense, something can't be long and short at the same time. It's like I've got two me's each pulling in a different direction, the "Yeah! I'm a non-smoker me" and the "Nicotine addict me". So yeah I actually have two perspectives on what the last five days have been like.
Yeah! I'm a non-smoker:
It feels great not to be a slave to the nicotine. My clothes, breath, car, and everything else I touch doesn't stink anymore. I love looking at my bank account now. In fact I check it several times a day. For one I don't see lots of "little" charges everyday for a pack of cigarettes. The other nice part is I actually have money in my account; I might not have to completely scrape by this month. I wish I could say I feel healthier, but I've been sick for the past week, and I think I have the quitting cough now too. I am also getting so much more work done around the house now that I don't have to constantly stop to smoke.
Day one was no problem, it almost never is. In fact day two went pretty well also. It was day three when I started feeling like a junkie who needs their fix. Everything reminded me of a cigarette, Everything. For the past few days I've been between feelings of agitation and melancholy. I keep trying to remind myself of all the good things, but the addict needs it's fix.
Either my family hasn't noticed or they're just not talking about it. I don't want to bring it up for fear of jinxing myself. I've been trying to stay busy, to keep the "nicotine addict" at bay. I must admit that even just writing about not smoking, makes me want to smoke. Thankfully my husband is quitting with me. We don't talk about it, but it helps to know that we're in it together.
I must admit being a non-smoker has had it's ups and downs, but I think I'm going to enjoy this life style.