So Proud of me(us)!

I just need to brag a little bit. 
My husband and I went out with some couple friends to the bar my cousin DJ's at.  This bar happens to be one of the few in our state that allow smoking.  We thought "no problem none of our friends smoke."  But we forgot one of the wife's does.  I'm so proud of us, for not giving in to temptation every time she lit up!  It was tough and I don't know if I could have done it alone.  So very thankful my husband was there and we could support each other.

Day 5

I'm finally doing it!  After months and years of talking about quitting, the time has finally come. 

This is my coming out party!



It's been a very long and very short five days.  I know that makes no sense, something can't be long and short at the same time.  It's like I've got two me's each pulling in a different direction, the "Yeah! I'm a non-smoker me" and the "Nicotine addict me".  So yeah I actually have two perspectives on what the last five days have been like.

Yeah! I'm a non-smoker:

It feels great not to be a slave to the nicotine.  My clothes, breath, car, and everything else I touch doesn't stink anymore.  I love looking at my bank account now.  In fact I check it several times a day.  For one I don't see lots of "little" charges everyday for a pack of cigarettes.  The other nice part is I actually have money in my account; I might not have to completely scrape by this month.  I wish I could say I feel healthier, but I've been sick for the past week, and I think I have the quitting cough now too.  I am also getting so much more work done around the house now that I don't have to constantly stop to smoke.

Nicotine addict:

Day one was no problem, it almost never is.  In fact day two went pretty well also.  It was day three when I started feeling like a junkie who needs their fix.  Everything reminded me of a cigarette, Everything.  For the past few days I've been between feelings of agitation and melancholy.  I keep trying to remind myself of all the good things, but the addict needs it's fix.

Either my family hasn't noticed or they're just not talking about it.  I don't want to bring it up for fear of jinxing myself.  I've been trying to stay busy, to keep the "nicotine addict" at bay.  I must admit that even just writing about not smoking, makes me want to smoke.  Thankfully my husband is quitting with me.  We don't talk about it, but it helps to know that we're in it together.

I must admit being a non-smoker has had it's ups and downs, but I think I'm going to enjoy this life style.

~Earthy Mom

One week reflection

I'm trying to figure out what went wrong.  The first day was good, almost easy.  So why on day two did I cave and start smoking again?  I think part of the reason is fear and part of it is because Day 1 was so easy. 

I'm afraid of being a non-smoker.  I've been a smoker for seventeen years and it's become part of who I am, part of my life.  The last several years I've hated it, feeling like my life is dictated by my addiction.  Standing outside in the winter freezing and shivering to get my fix of nicotine.  Stepping out during social engagements and missing opportunities to have fun with my friends.  I hate the smell on my clothes and feeling self conscious when I meet new people, because I stink.  So it's totally insane that I'm afraid, but the truth is I am.  I'm afraid I won't know what to do with myself with out a cigarette.  I realized that first day I had alot of 'extra' time on my hands.  It's sad how much time in the past seventeen years I've wasted on my addiction.

Honestly the first day was great!  I had a couple times when I wanted to smoke, mostly when I had nothing to do.  I tried to keep myself busy all day.  When I did think about smoking, I reminded myself how great it is to be a nonsmoker!  It was so easy that I thought it wouldn't matter if I just had one, I could stop again anytime I wanted.  But that one turned into another one and another one, until I was hooked again.  I felt like a failure and that I would never be rid of this evil addiction.

So now it's just over a week later.  I've looked back to see what went wrong and how I can change it.  I've put my fears and concerns down in writing.  I've re-read my Easyway book.  My father just lent me his quit smoking hypnotism CD, which is what helped him quit.  I also have found a website that offers advice and support for quitting smoking.  You can also read and post in online forums.  With all these resources in place I'm feeling less afraid and more ready to be successful in becoming a nonsmoker with a new quit date.

I'll be using my blog, friends, and family to help keep myself accountable and stay quit.

~Trish

My Secret Demon

For over a year now I have been sharing with other people how to make their homes and lives more toxin free.  Every time I share the dangers of toxic chemicals and the harm the cause, I feel a twinge because of my secret demon.

I am a smoker.

Phew.  Just putting that out there for all the world to see takes a huge weight off my shoulders.  I know of all the reasons I shouldn't smoke, my kids tell me every time I go out to light up.  I know it's hypocritical to talk about keeping toxins out of our homes and be a smoker.  But sadly I'm addicted to nicotine.  Everyday I wish I had never started this horrible chain.  I know so many of you out there wish you hadn't either, so I thought why not share what I'm doing to become a non-smoker.  So I've decided to make a series on my blog just about becoming a non-smoker.

Step 1:  Figure out how to become a non-smoker.  I've been asking around, to family and friends, and I've heard that many of my friends, my sister's coworkers, and even my dad have become non-smokers by reading.  The book is called, The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr.
Step 2:  Read the book.  I bought the book from Amazon and started reading.  At this point I've almost finished it.
Step 3:  Pick a "quit" date.  Well today is going to be my last day as a smoker.  I'm looking forward to waking up tomorrow morning and finally being a non-smoker!

I highly recommend to anyone read Allen Carr's Easy Way it will remove the smoker brainwashing.  As you read, you will begin to feel like you can be a free and happy non-smoker too.  Allen Carr shares testimonies through out the book from people who have used his EasyWay to become non-smokers.  My favorite quote from the book is "Whenever you think about smoking, . . . ,you think: YIPPEE, I'M A NON-SMOKER!!!"

Plans for my Removing the Toxins Within ~ Becoming a non-smoker series:  Post updates and share how it's going every couple days in the beginning.