Here's a little of the back story to my guilt.
I had a great job at the Post Office, delivering mail part time. They pay was great and the hours were pretty good too. My husband and I like to hike and letterbox and on one of those trips I fell and injured my shoulder. Unfortunately my injury left me unable to perform my job consistently. We made the decision for me to quit working, because my body's well being was more important than the money we would lose. I don't regret the decision. It's given me the opportunity to be home more with my children. And that's a dream I never thought would come true. My dad is recently recovering from an extended stay in the hospital. And my parents have moved my 94 year old grandma in with them. Needless to say my mom is a really busy lady. Right now we are very tight on money. I know that money doesn't buy happiness, but it does pay the bills.
My husband has been looking for a second job, and yesterday he found one. I feel so guilty that he will be working two jobs and missing out on family time, while I'm home with our family. I wish that I could go out and work, but we run into a childcare issue. Ladybug is old enough to watch the boys, but they don't always get along well. (really what siblings do) Not to mention every time talk of me working comes up, my poor mom nearly has a heart attack. With the summer fast approaching, we have decided that I should continue to stay home (for now).
I just doesn't feel right that I get to enjoy family time, while my husband is working so hard to support us all. I wish I could enjoy how amazingly lucky I am, but right now I just feel guilty.
~Your Earthy Mom
I came across your blog and had to let you know that you are not alone. My husband has ALWAYS worked two jobs ... sometimes two jobs AND school part time. I have always, always stayed home with the kids. I have felt guilty time to time in the many years and have gotten upset when people say "don't you feel guilty seeing him work so much while you are home with the kids?" I used to let these comment get to me ... now I do not. I wear my stay at home badge with honor and the huz wears his "work hard so mom can stay home with the kids" badge with honor. I always praise the huz in front of the kids on how hard he works for us. I always let them know he is doing it for us all to have a better life. They have adjusted. It just makes the time he is here more special. AND now with all that working and schooling he now just has ONE job after nearly 15 years and comes home a little after they get home from school. Life takes its rolercoaster ride and you sometimes you are corkscrewing around and screaming and sometimes you are smiling climbing that hill but it is all worth it if what you are doing makes your heart smile!
ReplyDeleteThere is NOTHING to feel guilty about if each of you are doing what it takes to keep your family together and happy!
Good luck with everything
Blessings
~T
Since you're a stay at home Mom, could you maybe open up a little day care in your home for some added revenue?
ReplyDeleteBrightest Blessings!
I work for a school district, and if you do not home school there is a lot of part time jobs that you can look into that are all during school hours.It's a great way for a stay at home mom to get a job.Good Luck & Blessings
ReplyDeleteI watch my neices for some income but all my little nieces are going to school in September. I work for a company called "Thirty-One"
ReplyDeletewww.mythirtyone.com/tward
This is another options ... some kind of gig like that. And also watching kids is a great idea. Under a certain amount you do not need a license! And it may be just the little push you need to help supplement your income.
Good luck!
~T
I fully understand the guilt issue. Back in the fall I went back to work after being a SAHM since my son was born 10 years ago. I had worked for deli bakeries and as a cake decorator before. I landed a job as a deli bakery manager for an area grocery store and was enjoying it for the most part. My husband was in a car wreck in mid December and broke his hand. We found out real quick that he couldn't help out around the house as much with theuse of only one hand. My child care options fell through when the neighbor who was keeping my son informed me that due to her divorce/wanting time with her new boyfriend she would not be keeping my son anymore. She told me this on a Wednesday. My mom offered to pick up my son after school but turned around 2 weeks latter and said that she didn't want to drive the 12 miles to pick him up every day. My son was telling me that he didn't feel that e was getting enough time with me. The household was a disaster and it seemed I couldn't do anything right. So, I quit my job to be the SAHM agian until my son is a little older. It can be a bit of a struggle sometimes and I feel alot of guilt that I'm not working. Mu hubby feels guilty because he feels that I wouldn't have quit my job if he hadn't have broken his hand. I realize that it was just a perfect storm of issues all at one time, but I still feel guilty.
ReplyDeleteI think us moms tend to overdo it a bit on the guilt side ;) we are sometimes our own worst critic.
ReplyDeleteThank you to everyone for your support and suggestions.
ReplyDelete@motherdear I agree. I am definately very hard on myself.