Let's talk...

Earlier this week I thought it was going to be a night like every other night.  It started out the same.  Dinner and homework were done.  The boys were finishing getting ready for bed.  And I was sitting on the couch reading while orchestrating the bed time stuff.  Then my daughter dropped the I want to talk bomb.

She plopped down on the end of the couch and looked at me.  I looked up from my book and said, "Yes?"
"Mom I need to ask you a question."
"Ok what's up?"
"What does S&M mean?"
"Why!?!" I asked in a semi high pitched voice.  At this point I was beginning to freak out.  Why in the world would my 15 year old daughter ask me about S&M.  Where could she have heard about something like that?
"Because me and my friend where listening to this song on her ipod in study hall and the singer was talking about S&M and so we googled it and google said it was some kind of sex thing, but it just doesn't seem to make sense.  So what does it mean?"  She was talking really fast at this point, a sure sign that she was also freaking out.
I took a little time to calm myself, at least on the outside, and think about how I could begin to explain S&M to my 15 year old. 

I told her what the letters stand for and what they mean.  (Liking to hurt yourself or liking to be hurt)  I did let her know that it can be in a sexual way.  Then I talked to her about googling something like that.  I explained that it isn't safe to google everything and sometimes you can get alot more info than you were expecting and even pictures.  I gave her an example of how not everything on the internet is a safe as it could be.  (Because even though we were conversing and she was listening, she can't take everything I say for fact.)

I was trying to order a hiking pack for my son for Boy Scouts.  I wanted to look online at Dick's Sporting Goods, which we just call Dick's.  Let me tell you my shock and surprise when I put in Dicks.com (you know like walmart.com or target.com) and I ended up on a porn site.  To make matter's worse, I was at work when this happened.

After some laughing at my expense, she did see that I had a valid point.  I also pointed out that if a teacher had caught her and her friend they could have gotten in trouble for googling it.  We talked about how she and her friend could have even accidentally seen porn.  I asked her to come and ask me next time instead of using google.  I also let her know how happy and proud I was that she could come and talk to me about stuff like this.

My daughter was disgusted and had trouble wrapping her head around it. "Why would anyone want to do That?"  She also informed me that she doesn't understand why anyone would want to look at porn.  And was very thankful she didn't see anything like That.  All I could say was, "There are lots of different people in the world, who all like different things."

I was so proud of my self for staying under control and talking with her, instead of freaking out.  I also later found out that I may have been able to get out of alot of the conversation if only I knew more about the song in question.
I googled it to find out what kind of song my kid was listening to.  (I know, I just got done telling her not to google, but I'm the mom.)
Here's what I found out: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110413093131AAZCmf9

~Earthy Mom

Strike update

So far we're doing amazing.  After my father and I talked with the kids, I've seen alot of improvement.  I am still on "strike".  Which basically means I won't clean up after the kids, and I'll only give them one reminder.  Which really in the grand scheme of things isn't a strike after all.  This is the way our house should and used to run.

The last few days I've had to remind them all to clean up after themselves.  But this morning I was pleasantly surprised with No breakfast dishes on the table or in the sink.  This is amazing progress!  I couldn't be happier.
They are still having some trouble remembering to put away coats and backpacks.  But one reminder of "Where does your coat/backpack belong?"  and it's taken care of.  Chores are also getting done mostly without reminders!  Yeah!
I am happy to report that my little mess makers have realized the error of their ways.  And I have realized the error of constantly doing for them.  I was doing all of them a great disservice.  I also realized that constant nagging/yelling is no fun for anyone and I'm hoping things will continue to run a little bit more smoothly everyday.

Pictures of my shame.

Water bottle and Dunkin Donuts bag on livingroom floor

Sink and counter piled with dishes

Kitchen table.  Not sure what is left on that plate

Dishes left on stove too.  Yup that's french fries on that bowl.

Coats, snow suits, hats, mittens, and boots piled up in the bathroom.

~Earthy Mom

No longer a Silent strike

I couldn't take it any longer.  I couldn't look around my house.  The mess is getting to me.  I think I was even beginning to drive my father insane with it.  He was in the know and I shared it all with him.  The few ups and many downs.  Today my father came to down to my house and looked around.  Then he told the children, "Your house is a trash pit.  Do you even realize it?"  They looked at him with blank stares.  "Your mother has gone on strike.  She is done cleaning up after you and doing Your chores."
The children, specifically the oldest, were angry.  They told him they didn't know what their chores are.  That they didn't leave any mess.  He told them to look around.  And that they are lucky to have me as a mom, because he would do much more than go on a silent strike.
So how did it come to this point?

My Mommy Strike

Today is the morning of the fourth day of my Mommy Strike.  I'm pretty sure nobody but me knows I'm on strike.  Not even my husband, because I have not told him yet.  I'm actually debating as to whether or not to let him in on it.  Since as I look around he has helped create some of the mess.  At this point in my strike I am having a really hard time looking around my house.  It is begging me to clean up.

Here is how the days have been so far.

Blessed Yule

We had a wonderful Yule celebration this year.  The kids were slightly disappointed that we celebrated on Saturday instead of Friday.  But my husband and I didn't have the time available to take off from work.  And truly the most important part is that we celebrated the solstice together as a family.

I'm not perfect

Recently I've been having a lot of frustrated/angry feelings toward my stepdaughter's mom.  After a very long and very upsetting mental health issue with my stepdaughter (that is still on going), my husband and I agreed to give primary residence back to her mom.  One of the  biggest factors was the doctor's felt Duckling needed to be home schooled.  Both my husband and I work, so that wasn't an option in our house.  Off she went back to live with her mom and be home schooled.
Here's a little history to help with understanding the situation.  Last year, Duckling went to a school that was independent study.  She had an advisor to help keep her on track.  At this school you also need alot of parent involvement, to make sure your child is doing their work. 

Birthday for the 12 year-old boy

A couple weekends ago we had a sleep over birthday party for our 12 year-old son.  And by birthday party I really mean is half a dozen 12 year old boys running around my house shooting each other with Nerf guns and being just generally wild.

Rewind to the beginning of the day.  Which I spent as the crazy mom following my boys around getting them to clean up the last bit of toys and stuff so the house would be clean for the party. 

Letter to Santa

Santa does not come to our house.  I decided when I had my first child I didn't want to do Santa, because as a single mom not knowing how much money I would have for gifts.  I didn't want the stress.  My mother was horrified by my decision and decided to do Santa for my daughter and then the rest of my kids after they were born.  Our family does gifts on Yule and the kids get gifts from Santa and Grandma on Christmas.  This has actually worked out really well.  The kids get to have the magic of Santa and I get to be more relaxed.