Independence too soon?

Now that summer vacation has started my older children are wanting to go out places with their friends and alone.  We are fortunate that the beach, library, playground, and skate park are all two miles or less from our house.  The beach has life guards, the library has librarians, and the skate park is right next to the police station, so all of these places are pretty safe.  Not to mention the girls have cell phones

So Proud of me(us)!

I just need to brag a little bit. 
My husband and I went out with some couple friends to the bar my cousin DJ's at.  This bar happens to be one of the few in our state that allow smoking.  We thought "no problem none of our friends smoke."  But we forgot one of the wife's does.  I'm so proud of us, for not giving in to temptation every time she lit up!  It was tough and I don't know if I could have done it alone.  So very thankful my husband was there and we could support each other.

Day 5

I'm finally doing it!  After months and years of talking about quitting, the time has finally come. 

This is my coming out party!



It's been a very long and very short five days.  I know that makes no sense, something can't be long and short at the same time.  It's like I've got two me's each pulling in a different direction, the "Yeah! I'm a non-smoker me" and the "Nicotine addict me".  So yeah I actually have two perspectives on what the last five days have been like.

Yeah! I'm a non-smoker:

It feels great not to be a slave to the nicotine.  My clothes, breath, car, and everything else I touch doesn't stink anymore.  I love looking at my bank account now.  In fact I check it several times a day.  For one I don't see lots of "little" charges everyday for a pack of cigarettes.  The other nice part is I actually have money in my account; I might not have to completely scrape by this month.  I wish I could say I feel healthier, but I've been sick for the past week, and I think I have the quitting cough now too.  I am also getting so much more work done around the house now that I don't have to constantly stop to smoke.

Nicotine addict:

Day one was no problem, it almost never is.  In fact day two went pretty well also.  It was day three when I started feeling like a junkie who needs their fix.  Everything reminded me of a cigarette, Everything.  For the past few days I've been between feelings of agitation and melancholy.  I keep trying to remind myself of all the good things, but the addict needs it's fix.

Either my family hasn't noticed or they're just not talking about it.  I don't want to bring it up for fear of jinxing myself.  I've been trying to stay busy, to keep the "nicotine addict" at bay.  I must admit that even just writing about not smoking, makes me want to smoke.  Thankfully my husband is quitting with me.  We don't talk about it, but it helps to know that we're in it together.

I must admit being a non-smoker has had it's ups and downs, but I think I'm going to enjoy this life style.

~Earthy Mom

Reusing junk

My dad is a collector of junk.  He likes to save everything, so our yard is full of stuff.  You can look out the window and see old barbecue grills, lawn mowers, metal scraps, plywood, decorative stone, etc.  I had three fire place grates just sitting outside my door.  I decided since he's never going to actually use any of the stuff he's saving "just in case we need it", that I would start reusing it.



fire grates before



my new flower garden

I just finished turning two those fireplace grates into beautiful planters.  I cleared out an area just to the left of my walkway.  Since they are obviously grates, I needed to come up with something to line them so the dirt didn't fall through.  Next stop the store, where I picked up a peva/coco liner ($5.96) and some flowers to plant.  The liners wasn't as wide as my grates, so I slid some flat rocks behind it to fill in the gap.  I already had potting soil left over from our Ostara celebrations.  The kids helped me pick out some flowers to plant.  We decide to go with annuals, since we weren't sure if perennials would make it through the winter in a raised bed.  I'll be looking into that for next year, since it would be nice to have our flowers come back every year.  The entire project cost me about $15.  And the best part is I don't have to look at those ugly fire grates any more.  Next year the kids want to paint the grates before we replant.  They think it will look prettier.



my birthday frogs



Since I now have the time to garden, the kids decided I needed garden decorations for my birthday!  I LOVE frogs.  Don't know what it is, but they are just so adorable.  My new garden decorations are some very lovely frogs.  A few years ago we had to dig up our yard, so we happen to have some slabs of concrete laying around.  I had my dad help me move one of them next to my new planter so my frogs could have a home.  This is still a work in progress.  I want to transplant some moss onto the concrete.  Thankfully my parents have a neighbor (at their summer campground) who has done this with her garden.  As soon as I get a chance to drive out there, I'm going to ask for her help.



beginnings of an altar



My final project, at least until I come up with some more ideas, is an outdoor altar.  I've always wanted an outdoor altar, but I didn't have any idea where or how I was going to make one.  Today all that just fell into place, while I was looking for something else to plant in.  I found my dad's pile of concrete bricks and a slab of decorative stone.  Put slab of stone on top of two bricks and you end up with a nice looking flat surface.  Yeah now we have our own outdoor altar.  It's definitely still a work in progress, but I'm hoping to put it to use next week during the Solstice.  The stone just gives me a good earthy feeling.

~Your Earthy Mom

More than a label

Several weeks ago I posted about my "labeled" kids.  I shared about each one and the challenges we face as a family.  I've been thinking it's time to share how they are all more than a label.  They are my blessings and bring great joy to my life.

My daughter, the ladybug, is a very kind, caring, and empathetic young lady.  I honestly think all her anxieties and struggles have helped her to understand where many of her peers are coming from.  She is fiercely protective of her friends, especially if another child is teasing them.  She comforts others who are in need.  For the last two years, Ladybug has asked for food donations, for those in need, instead of gifts for her birthday.  I am often amazed at the young woman she is becoming.

My oldest son, the monkey, is also very kind, helpful, and loving.  He joined his school's mentoring program at the beginning of the school year.  Currently he is mentoring a younger student who also has ADHD.  He is always quick to help younger children when they are struggling.  Monkey is also always ready with a hug or a kind word to anyone who is feeling sad.  I am so proud of his nurturing ways.

At seven my youngest son, the potato, is still growing into the person he will become.  He is a goofball and loves to make you smile.  He also really looks up to his brother and tries to follow Monkey's example.  Potato is a cuddler, he'll climb right up and snuggle in next to you.

These are the things I try to remind myself of when we are having one of "Those" days.  It helps me to focus on the joys they bring into my life.  We take each day as it comes, the good and the bad.  I tell them how much they are loved and how proud they should be of themselves.  Sometimes I mess up, especially when I'm having a bad day myself.  Then I go back and apologize for the hurt I may have caused them.  I'm thankful I can be a part of their growing process.  I'm even thankful for their "labels", because each child is unique and their experiences help mold them into the person they are becoming.

~Your Earthy Mom

Yard Sale for a cause

About two weeks ago, over the weekend we held our second annual Relay for Life Yard sale.  My family been participating in Relay for Life since my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer fifteen years ago.  This event is very important to my whole family and friends.  We named our team after my Pop, Happy Chappy.  He was diagnosed with cancer and lost his battle, when I was young.  Since then my family has been touch by cancer in many ways.  My Mother, Grandma, and mother in-law are all cancer survivors.  Our team of family and friends all walk in memory of those we lost and to honor those we are blessed to still have in our lives.

 One of our team's fundraising events is an annual yard sale.  We gather up all the toys, clothes, household items, and anything else that we don't need or use anymore to sell.  All the profits from the yard sale go to our team's total money raised.

This year my sister, husband, a couple of our friends, and I got together to work the yard sale.  My father in-law just moved up here and had many items that won't fit in his new home, so he donated it to our yard sale.  Since we have very little weekend time during the school year, we decided to hold a second yard sale during the summer.

Stop by our Team's site to help us fight cancer.

~Your Earthy Mom

Guilt

So I will start out this post with saying usually I try to keep my writing upbeat and motivational.  However I do write to express myself and my feelings.  Guilt is what I'm feeling now.

Here's a little of the back story to my guilt.
    I had a great job at the Post Office, delivering mail part time.  They pay was great and the hours were pretty good too.  My husband and I like to hike and letterbox and on one of those trips I fell and injured my shoulder.  Unfortunately my injury left me unable to perform my job consistently.  We made the decision for me to quit working, because my body's well being was more important than the money we would lose.  I don't regret the decision.  It's given me the opportunity to be home more with my children.  And that's a dream I never thought would come true.  My dad is recently recovering from an extended stay in the hospital.  And my parents have moved my 94 year old grandma in with them.  Needless to say my mom is a really busy lady.  Right now we are very tight on money.  I know that money doesn't buy happiness, but it does pay the bills.
    My husband has been looking for a second job, and yesterday he found one.  I feel so guilty that he will be working two jobs and missing out on family time, while I'm home with our family.  I wish that I could go out and work, but we run into a childcare issue.  Ladybug is old enough to watch the boys, but they don't always get along well.  (really what siblings do)  Not to mention every time talk of me working comes up, my poor mom nearly has a heart attack.  With the summer fast approaching, we have decided that I should continue to stay home (for now).
    I just doesn't feel right that I get to enjoy family time, while my husband is working so hard to support us all.  I wish I could enjoy how amazingly lucky I am, but right now I just feel guilty.

~Your Earthy Mom

Children, Book of Shadows ideas

As a family we have a family Book of Shadows.  We keep our favorite Sabbat's stories, recipes, and traditions in it.  Each of my children have their own binder with age appropriate pages.  I make or print pictures to color, crosswords, word searches for them.  Also I'll add information I think they'll like or learn something from.  I try and keep these fun and low key.  My boys (being younger) really have alot of fun coloring, doing activities, and reading with me.  My daughter (a teenager) at this point isn't as interested in the "fun stuff", so I've had to get more creative.

Several weeks ago I was reading a post by Mrs. B that really peeked my interest.  She has a BOS that she passes back and forth with her child.  I knew right away that my Ladybug would love the idea of us sharing a notebook full of information.  We just started at the beginning of this week, so it definitely still a work in progress.  She even asked me this morning "Mommy, when are you going to write in our book again?"  (And yes my teen actually still calls me Mommy)  It was just too sweet.  I'll have to post again once we get things more solid. 

Several months ago, Ladybug borrowed my book To Ride a Silver Broomstick, by Silver RavenWolf.  I was curious how her reading was going, since she hadn't been asking very many questions lately.  She informed me that, this past month of school she's been very busy and hasn't had time to read anything that isn't school work.  I can't even begin to tell you how pleased I am that she puts her school work first!  But I'm also kind of sad that she hasn't had time to pursue other things.  We chatted and came up with a plan.  School will be over in two and a half weeks, with lots of free time in the summer.  We are going to start the book from the beginning together.  Writing and sharing our thoughts about what we're reading.  I'm looking forward to this special time Ladybug and I have carved out of the day for each other.  With the size of our family, sometimes she and my stepdaughter get looked over too often.  I think it's because they are growing into independent young women, who don't want their parents hovering.

~Your Earthy Mom