March 25, 2014

Feeling like a single mom

Since the beginning of this school year I've been feeling like a single mom.  I've been wanting to write about it, but I was feeling too negative for a while.  Then I've been too busy to write.  So now I'm just going to get it all out there.

In September my husband took a new position at his job.  He now works from noonish to 9ish Monday - Thursday.  He is also taking a couple college classes in Electrical engineering.  Many nights he comes home and I get to see him long enough to say, "hi how was your day?  Good night, I love you."  He then stays up to do homework, while I head to bed.  He also has a class on Saturday mornings till noon.  I'm very proud of him for going back to school.  But I miss him and so do the kids.

My days:
Get up around 7ish (I'm really bad at getting up in the mornings.  Doesn't matter when I go to bed.) to get Potato up and ready for school.  I just started a "Couch to 5K" program last week.  Three day a week, after Potato is on the bus, I head out for a run.  Then I get myself ready for work.  My hours at the school are almost perfect for being home with the kids, 9:30am - 4pm.  I'm a paraprofessional and work 1:1 with special needs kids in preschool.  I get home around 4:15, start making dinner, and helping kids with homework. After dinner and homework, we will relax with some tv or the boys will play together before bed time.  Bed time is Really hard for Potato.  Many nights he has a meltdown.  When everyone is finally in bed, I finish cleaning up the kitchen and get a little free time for me.  Then my husband comes home!
I spend the weekends cleaning and putting the house back together, just to start the week again.

In the fall dinner and homework time were crazy.  Ladybug was playing field hockey, with practice ending at 5 everyday, and 2 games a week.  Monkey was playing soccer for his Middle School and on the Rec team.  Practice almost everyday and 2 games a week, one on the weekend for Rec.  Potato was also playing Rec soccer.  He practiced 2 days a week and had a game on the weekend.  And both boys do Scouts.  You can see why it was crazy and why at the time I was having a lot of negative feelings about the situation.
Winter time is pretty easy.  Nobody plays winter sports, usually.  This year Monkey did play indoor soccer, but it was one day a week.  Ladybug hasn't gotten into full swing Drama rehearsals yet.  All three kids do have Scout meetings, but that is manageable.  I like winter, except for the cold.
Now spring is starting to roll around again.  Two boys in Rec soccer and Ladybug Drama 4-5 days a week.  Oh yes it's going to get crazy again.  (Biggest pain, Ladybug's Drama teacher NEVER lets them out of rehearsal on time.  They are ALWAYS running 15-25 minutes late.  (Sorry had to rant a little about that)

I'm not unhappy that my kids are involved in different activities.  I try to limit them to 2 activities at a time.  I works out great for the boys, soccer & Scouts.  And Ladybug does pretty good too.  But I'm only one mom and I find it hard to be in so many places at once.  All the kids have friends who can help with rides, and my parents also help out.  I'm very lucky to be able to let them continue their activities even though the dynamics at home have changed.

I've was a single mom after my divorce and before I married my husband.  It was hard work then and it's hard work now.  The hardest part is having a husband and Dad, while single parenting.  I miss him.  He misses me.  The kids miss him.  He misses them.  And he misses seeing them playing sports, performing in concerts, doing Scout stuff, etc.  We know that this won't last forever.  That is why he is going back to school.  To get a job that pays well with normal hours.  So we can see each other and spend time together as a family.  I just wish I could fast forward to that time.

~Earthy Mom

Yes I know I ranted a bit.  And I'm definitely still having negative feelings.  But I felt like it was time to get it all out there.  It feels better to have get all my feelings out, than to keep them bottled up inside.
And yes I know my kids could do less, but how do you tell a kid they have to stop something they love, because Mom is doing it all on her own.  Or how do you pick which kid has to give something up.  For us that just wasn't an option.

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