I've almost always embraced being a mom and everything that goes with it. Sure there are times when the kids are driving me crazy or I'm feeling stressed from all I need to do for/with them. But generally I Love being a mom and caring for and doing for my family.
So what's changed? I just don't know.
I could say it's our crazy schedule:
My husband gets the girls up at 5:30 and I get up around 6:30 to make sure the boys are up and doing their morning thing. I make lunches, get myself ready for work, and then head to work. I love my job! I only work till 2pm, so that I can be home for the kids when they get out of school. From there its the rest of my afternoon and evening are just a blur. I help with homework, make dinner, and then start running kids to and from soccer practice, field hockey practice, scouts, or flute lessons. We usually eat the dinner I made after we get home at 7pm. After dinner I'm making sure all homework is finished, cleaning up dinner (if I'm not too exhausted), and putting everyone to bed. If the kids are all in bed on time, which is a rare thing in our house, I get about an hour before heading to bed. I almost never use that hour to do housework. I try and use it to relax, catch up on some tv, read, play on the computer, etc. Then it's off to bed so I can start the whole thing over again the next day.
The weekends are just as crazy. My youngest has OT every Saturday morning. There are soccer games and field hockey practice. And until yesterday I was in charge of popcorn sales for the Cub scouts every Saturday and Sunday. (Jumping for joy now that its over). Around the stuff I have to find time to clean the house (because there is no time during the week) and go grocery shopping. I try and squeeze some free time for me in there too.
My kids aren't over scheduled. They all do one or two activities. I think its me who is over scheduled with four kids.
My husband doesn't get home from work till 6. Some days he finished up the dinner I started, and every other Monday he's running our son's Cub scout meeting. Some evenings he helps with the dinner clean up and he assists with getting kids ready for bed. He helps get kids to games on the weekends and tosses some laundry in the washer and dryer.
Overall I'm just overwhelmed, resentful, and feeling unappreciated. None of those makes for good feelings and I want my good feelings back. I want to enjoy going to a soccer or field hockey game, and not feel like "I have to be there". I want to enjoy making dinner for my family and not think "I have to cook something because no one else will." I would like to not feel like if I don't do insert "job" , then it wont get done. I've tried explaining this to my husband, but he just doesn't seem to get it. I'm spreading the negative all over everything I do and it's infecting the whole family.
I need to find a way to start enjoying motherhood and all that comes with it again. Before the "Blues disease" takes over.