I've realized that it's been almost a year since I've written anything. And a lot has happened in that time.
A Lot.
Ladybug will be turning sixteen in less than a month. I don't know where the time has gone. She is growing into an amazing young woman. We are still having sex talks, but thankfully it's still just talk. (Big sigh of relief) Her letter to Santa, from last year, has mostly come true.
Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts
November 27, 2013
June 3, 2011
Guilt
So I will start out this post with saying usually I try to keep my writing upbeat and motivational. However I do write to express myself and my feelings. Guilt is what I'm feeling now.
Here's a little of the back story to my guilt.
I had a great job at the Post Office, delivering mail part time. They pay was great and the hours were pretty good too. My husband and I like to hike and letterbox and on one of those trips I fell and injured my shoulder. Unfortunately my injury left me unable to perform my job consistently. We made the decision for me to quit working, because my body's well being was more important than the money we would lose. I don't regret the decision. It's given me the opportunity to be home more with my children. And that's a dream I never thought would come true. My dad is recently recovering from an extended stay in the hospital. And my parents have moved my 94 year old grandma in with them. Needless to say my mom is a really busy lady. Right now we are very tight on money. I know that money doesn't buy happiness, but it does pay the bills.
My husband has been looking for a second job, and yesterday he found one. I feel so guilty that he will be working two jobs and missing out on family time, while I'm home with our family. I wish that I could go out and work, but we run into a childcare issue. Ladybug is old enough to watch the boys, but they don't always get along well. (really what siblings do) Not to mention every time talk of me working comes up, my poor mom nearly has a heart attack. With the summer fast approaching, we have decided that I should continue to stay home (for now).
I just doesn't feel right that I get to enjoy family time, while my husband is working so hard to support us all. I wish I could enjoy how amazingly lucky I am, but right now I just feel guilty.
Here's a little of the back story to my guilt.
I had a great job at the Post Office, delivering mail part time. They pay was great and the hours were pretty good too. My husband and I like to hike and letterbox and on one of those trips I fell and injured my shoulder. Unfortunately my injury left me unable to perform my job consistently. We made the decision for me to quit working, because my body's well being was more important than the money we would lose. I don't regret the decision. It's given me the opportunity to be home more with my children. And that's a dream I never thought would come true. My dad is recently recovering from an extended stay in the hospital. And my parents have moved my 94 year old grandma in with them. Needless to say my mom is a really busy lady. Right now we are very tight on money. I know that money doesn't buy happiness, but it does pay the bills.
My husband has been looking for a second job, and yesterday he found one. I feel so guilty that he will be working two jobs and missing out on family time, while I'm home with our family. I wish that I could go out and work, but we run into a childcare issue. Ladybug is old enough to watch the boys, but they don't always get along well. (really what siblings do) Not to mention every time talk of me working comes up, my poor mom nearly has a heart attack. With the summer fast approaching, we have decided that I should continue to stay home (for now).
I just doesn't feel right that I get to enjoy family time, while my husband is working so hard to support us all. I wish I could enjoy how amazingly lucky I am, but right now I just feel guilty.
~Your Earthy Mom
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