February 1, 2013

Let's talk...

Earlier this week I thought it was going to be a night like every other night.  It started out the same.  Dinner and homework were done.  The boys were finishing getting ready for bed.  And I was sitting on the couch reading while orchestrating the bed time stuff.  Then my daughter dropped the I want to talk bomb.

She plopped down on the end of the couch and looked at me.  I looked up from my book and said, "Yes?"
"Mom I need to ask you a question."
"Ok what's up?"
"What does S&M mean?"
"Why!?!" I asked in a semi high pitched voice.  At this point I was beginning to freak out.  Why in the world would my 15 year old daughter ask me about S&M.  Where could she have heard about something like that?
"Because me and my friend where listening to this song on her ipod in study hall and the singer was talking about S&M and so we googled it and google said it was some kind of sex thing, but it just doesn't seem to make sense.  So what does it mean?"  She was talking really fast at this point, a sure sign that she was also freaking out.
I took a little time to calm myself, at least on the outside, and think about how I could begin to explain S&M to my 15 year old. 

I told her what the letters stand for and what they mean.  (Liking to hurt yourself or liking to be hurt)  I did let her know that it can be in a sexual way.  Then I talked to her about googling something like that.  I explained that it isn't safe to google everything and sometimes you can get alot more info than you were expecting and even pictures.  I gave her an example of how not everything on the internet is a safe as it could be.  (Because even though we were conversing and she was listening, she can't take everything I say for fact.)
I was trying to order a hiking pack for my son for Boy Scouts.  I wanted to look online at Dick's Sporting Goods, which we just call Dick's.  Let me tell you my shock and surprise when I put in Dicks.com (you know like walmart.com or target.com) and I ended up on a porn site.  To make matter's worse, I was at work when this happened.
After some laughing at my expense, she did see that I had a valid point.  I also pointed out that if a teacher had caught her and her friend they could have gotten in trouble for googling it.  We talked about how she and her friend could have even accidentally seen porn.  I asked her to come and ask me next time instead of using google.  I also let her know how happy and proud I was that she could come and talk to me about stuff like this.

My daughter was disgusted and had trouble wrapping her head around it. "Why would anyone want to do That?"  She also informed me that she doesn't understand why anyone would want to look at porn.  And was very thankful she didn't see anything like That.  All I could say was, "There are lots of different people in the world, who all like different things."

I was so proud of my self for staying under control and talking with her, instead of freaking out.  I also later found out that I may have been able to get out of alot of the conversation if only I knew more about the song in question.
I googled it to find out what kind of song my kid was listening to.  (I know, I just got done telling her not to google, but I'm the mom.)
Here's what I found out: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110413093131AAZCmf9

~Earthy Mom

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